I want to write something about positive parenting but the only thing that I am positive about tonight is that my little girl is growing up and doing so at break neck speed! I’ve gone from having a little girl who is willing to please to a child who spends more time on the naughty mat or being told to “please, listen to what mummy has said” than anything else in her rather open schedule. I regret to admit that I have been less than patient of late and I attribute that to my poor management of my emotions during this stressful time of organising to move, meetings with the department of housing and of course organising my second semester of uni for this year. I find myself wondering time and time again how life would differ, not only for me but for my little ‘angel’, if we had a man in our lives. Someone to look after us, provide for us, someone who could take the reigns when all I wanted to do was go and take a nice hot bath and read a book.
I feel ‘less than’ and inadequate at times like this when I am losing my voice from having to say things so many times to get Hilary to listen. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t just shut my mouth and let her become so precocious brat with no manners and little respect for adults. I’m tired, I’m only 21 and I feel like I am missing out.
I recently joined the Sunny Mummy Sisterhood in the hopes of reminding myself that taking some ‘me’ time will ensure that I can give the best of myself to Hilary. So far I have failed, dismally I might add, at ensuring that I am able to give the best of myself to my daughter. That makes me feel so… crap… I am all she has.
I think a nice hot cup of tea and some sleep is in order. Ready to wake up tomorrow with a fresh outlook and hopefully some inspiration and motivation to continue what I have started…
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