The Value of Money

I follow a group on Facebook that recently had a question- “What's the going rate for pocket money? And do your kids have to do jobs to earn it?”

I, of course, put my five cents worth in but a lot of mothers seemed to not agree with me. So I thought I would elaborate.

My daughter is {almost} three, though you would easily mistake her for a four year old- I attribute that to her being an only child! I’m big on rewards charts, though I try not to make a big thing of it, sometimes she is content with a high five and a ‘that’s great’ rather than doing the whole sticker on a chart thing- I’m glad that at times that is more gratifying to her. I like to reward her, not always in a materialistic way, when she does really well with picking up her toys, using her manners, brushing her teeth and helping around the house, but again it is not a frequent thing. Recently I was trying to find a way to start teching her about money so at the end of the week Hilary has been getting 50 cents to go in her piggy bank if she has had a really good week, which is pretty much every week as she is really responsive to praise and stickers!

As soon as I wrote helping.around.the.house as being a ‘chore’ she got a sticker for, some mothers flipped. Ok, so I exaggerate, but they did dig their nails in! I believe that monetary rewards are a risky thing with children. You have to be careful that they don’t develop a sense of entitlement and miss the point of why they are doing the work in the first place. I think my system whereby a rewards chart and or praise is used at the time of the chore/ desirable behaviour being performed is a good one. It’s gentle encouragement, it isn’t building up an expecatation of anything other than acknowledgement of achievements and, lets face it, where ever we go in this here competitive world, acknowledegemnet of achievements is being thrust in our faces in one form or another. At school, we get grades, certificates, badges and titles such as ‘School Captain’ or ‘Dux’. In the workplace, we get raises, promotions, bonuses. In our social networks we get gifts, a pat on the back, proud friends. Wherever we go, in some form or another our achievements are being acknowledged, even if it is just a small thing. So for that matter, as a side note, I definitely don’t agree with parents who say that children should not be praised for their achievements. 

But I digress, the idea of incorporating money at the end of the week, a mere 50 cents I might add, was a way for me to start from a young age to instill a sense of the value of money in my child, a way of teaching her about money in general, counting, adding, saving and later on budgeting and spending wisely. It is not a bribe or made out to be a payment for the work she has done, but a way of showing that we never get anything, especially money, for doing absolutely nothing.

I do agree that some of the things that are on her rewards chart are household things that should just be done. But three years olds are often more interested in playing and it is a well known fact that teaching a three year old the right thing to do is much easier to do in play mode. And, I might add, that is exactly what parenting and the idea of ‘chores’ and rewards charts are all about, not disciplining but t.e.a.c.h.i.n.g!  

Some of the parents from this Facebook group commented that they only paid their children for *extra* chores they did- which they identified as taking the rubbish or recycling out, vacuuming, etc. I fail to see how these are *extra* to what is required to run a household. I think a more appropriate comment is that there is obviosuly a difference between parents as to what is deemed worthy of children helping out with. I might also add, that these parents then attach a monetary value to these *extra* chores. That in istelf, in my opinion, teaches children that every job you do will get you money, as opposed to every job *can* give you {satisfaction}.  

I use the rhythym of the week and the rewards chart to guage the success of my child’s learning to contribute to the household. The 50 cents is really just another way for me to teach another lesson to her about living. I have only been giving her 50 cents a week for a few months, before that she was content with rewards charts and high fives. I am convinced if I wasn’t able to give her 50 cents for her piggy bank her helping around the house wouldn’t stop because I don’t use it as chore money and she doesn’t assocaite it as such. 

I think more time needs to be spent with children teaching them to count money, identify money, use money (let them hand the money to the cashier at the register, let them press the buttons for your debit/credit card), save money, budget money and less time needs to be spent figuring out how much to give them for how many jobs and at what age. 

Here are some ways to start teaching children from a young age the importance and value of money: 

1. Don’t use money as a reward. Use it as a teaching tool. If Hilary were to have a bad week I would be more inclined to incorporate an end of week lesson in deducting money from her piggybank. What happens to piggy when he has 50 cents taken out? What happens to the coins when we don’t put another 50 cents in- does piggy still get heavier? This way, she is still learning about money and there is still no attachement or link to chores and money, but from it a lesson ensues.
   
2. If a child breaks a toy, teach them about cost to repair or replace. Recently Hilary accidentally stepped on a toy. At the end of the week we talked about how much we needed to take out of piggy to fix her toy. She counted how many 50 cents we needed. This extened her memorisation of numeral names and sequence and we discussed how muh lighter piggy felt after taking the money out. It wasn’t a punishment, she was excited to take her money and go to the shops and pay for the new part. And even more excited that she got to do it herself.
   
3. Be honest with your children about why they can’t have that lollipop or that game or toy. Let them count the coins in your purse and talk to them about how different the total is to the amount needed for what they want. So many times children trow tantrums in shopping centres because all they get is “No, not today” instead of a respectful explanation and a moment spent teaching. Hilary, I am sure, doesn’t always understand everything that I tell her but I take the time to explain and nine times out of ten I get a response such as “Ok, Mummy doesn’t have money. Maybe we get one next time.” And that is without me prompting her to say it. Don’t under estimate your kids!!
    
4. Play shop! Everyone has done this at some point in their lives! Make sure you play shop with your kids too, help them make price tags, ask them leading questions, get them thinking about what it is they are imagining. Creative play need not be solitary. And for all you busy parents, I am sure you can sit in the same room whilst on your laptop and shoot a few questions across such as; “How much is that apple” or “Can you help me figure out how much money I have?”
   
5. Help them get the language right. When we learn to count we may not have an understanding of what exactly is meant by the number 5. But getting the language and sequencing right is imperitive to understanding and appreciating numbers. It’s the same for money. Teach them words, sequence, and similarities and differences.

Have fun with your kids and make money more about learning and less about rewards and chores. 


Soul Mum xo