I read a lot of parenting books and when I say a lot, I really do mean that! I will read anything and everything to get ideas or form opinions, I'm not selective, I don't pass judgement until I have read it and understand what the author is all about. That being said I have concluded after a lot of books that the author, though perfectly entitled to their own opinion, has absolutely no idea what they are talking about! If you haven't already guessed, or read, I abslutely love Gissela Preuschoff. Whilst the article on single parenting in her book is only small, it pack a whole lot of punch and realy helps me to feel validated and proactive about ensuring my daughter has all the experiences and primary relationships that she needs to ensure she is a balanced, well-grounded individual.
One of the things Preuschoff conveys is an awesome tool, for any girl, not just one from a single parent home, is to own a horse. I grew up hearing my dad tell me, after having asked him a billion and one times, I'm sure, that "Poverty is owning a horse, Erin". So I never got to experience what exactly Preuschoff was talking about when she reports that a special bond will grow between your daughter and the horse. I did get to ride a horse once, Ebony, and she ran me into a low lying branch on a grade 5 camp. Not much bonding went on that day, maybe she knew I was a cat person at heart. Despite this if I had the money and Hilary had the want I would buy a horse in a flash just to add another facet to the gem that is her life, to ensure the lustre isn't blemished just because I am single mummy.
Ever since visiting some cousins in Blacktown ( I come from a classy sort of stock!), who had recently adopted a puppy from the poud Hilary, has wanted a puppy. Originally my, very hesitant, answer was no, as we are currently sharing a house with Mum, Dad, Aunty and 4 cats (who get along about as well as we humans do crammed into this house). However, I recieved fantastic news that I will be recieving, in one form or another, housing assistance from the government and will be placed within the next couple of months, in time for Hilary's birthday! So, when she found out we were moving you can guess what her first question was. She is only 33 months old but she doesn't miss anything, I put that down to a definate positive of single parenting, I'm told by some of my girlfriends that it's a definate positive of having a girl, but I'm not convinced, I'd love a little Prince Charming!
But I digress, so now my answer, that has become almost robotic in delivery for being asked so much, is "We can get a puppy if we have a garden for him to run around in". This seems to satisfy the little one for about 5 nano-seconds before she ask s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g else about getting a puppy, or, as she like to call it, I'm convinced just because it makes me laugh, a 'poopy dog'.
I'm kidding myself sitting her trying to convince myself if we don't have room for a puppy, life will be ok. But I've grown up with cats, didn't get a horse because apparetnly that propells you into peverty sticken straights and a dog was out of the question for my feline loving parents. And thus, if I look at myself plainly in the face, I have become one of these parents who really doesn't mind what pet my darling daughter wants, if I have the money she can have it. After all, my first pet and I had a lot of great, awesome memories together. I thinkPreuschoff's advice on getting a horse is a bit far out of reach for some, if not most, families but I do think that a dog would be the next best thing to provide companionship, a sense of responsibility and a whole lot of love to a little girl... or boy.
So that's the main thing on Hilary's (and my!) Christmas list for 2010... keep your figers crossed for us!
Until Next Time,
Soul Mum xo
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