As a parent Night Terrors and Nightmares in your child can be one of the scariest things you experience. As a single parent, it was terrifying. Running to the bedroom of my screaming child, who was thrashing back and forth in bed, face screwed up in pain, tears streaming down her little face- my first thought was what’s wrong!? At first I do what I usually did when she woke at night crying, talked to her and asked her what was wrong. She didn’t answer me, just cried louder and started holding her head with her hands. So, out of sheer panic I picked her up, took her out to the kitchen, put her on the bench and tried to find out what was wrong with her. She kept holding her ears so I asked her “Bubba, does your ear hurt”, all she would do was cry louder. I had no idea what to do, part of me thought, what if she really does have a sore ear? So I gave her some neurofen, heated her wheat pack and laid her down in bed with the heat pack near her ear. It took her about 10 minutes to slip back away into sleep, boy was it quiet then!
My heart goes out to any parent who has to experience that with their child, it is heart breaking, scary, confusing stuff! Being alone and not having anyone to bounce ideas of or offer support was the hardest thing for me. I couldn’t help but to think, what if she is really ill and I should be taking her to the hospital, instead I am putting her back to sleep. How will this affect her? Will she be psychologically scarred because of it? I decided to do some research on it, just to clarify what happened and so I will have a better idea of what to do next time, IF, it happens. What’s the difference between Nightmares and Night Terrors? Nightmares occur during REM sleep, which means a lot of Nightmares occur in the wee hours of the morning. Children are normally awake, frightened and easily consolable. They are conscious of your presence and respond to stimuli, such as questions. With a little comfort they will usually go back to sleep. Night Terrors are what ‘they’ call a non-REM sleep disorder, which means that they usually happen within the first few hours of your child falling asleep. Usually children forget having the Night Terror. During a Night Terror children are stuck in the place between fully awake and fully asleep. The best part is that you can rest assured that in both cases there are usually no long-term psychological effects. What should you do when your child has a Nightmare or Night Terror? With Nightmares children are usually calmed down by some reassurance, a hug, maybe even a glass of warm milk or a hot chocolate. The child may remember the Nightmare the next day so it also helps to talk about it with them. Never shame them or put them down for being scared. Reassure them that fear is a natural response to have to something that they don’t understand or that confuses them. Help this find ways of coping with there unease- Having a favourite toy with them, putting a battery powered night-light on, maybe playing some soft music. Night Terrors are a bit harder to handle, I feel, as a parent as you don’t have the satisfaction of being able to comfort your child back to sleep. It’s best to make sure they are out of harms way, they can thrash and move about quite a lot so ensure anything they may be able to hurt themselves on is put away. Gentle restraint from an embrace is often helpful, although if the child gets violent it is best to just sit by the bed and let them flail, making sure they don’t hurt themselves. If you aren’t going to stay with your child make sure all doors and windows are l.o.c.k.e.d! An interesting thing I read was that the more you try to wake your child the longer the episode *may* take, don’t try and wake your child, understand that they are not hurting, they wont remember this in the morning and let them drift back to sleep themselves. Can Nightmares and Night Terrors be prevented? Nightmares may be alleviated by spending quiet time, reading to your child or giving them a gentle massage. Try to ensure any activity you do with them about an hour before bed is a calming one. No television, no vigorous exercise. Night Terrors may be alleviated by ensuring a tight bedtime routine with a consistent bedtime. Some parents report that by waking their child 10 or 15 minutes before the Night Terrors usually start and getting them a drink, taking them to the toilet or just giving them a kiss and a cuddle is enough to disturb the routine of the brain and stop it from getting stuck between awake and sleep. Doctors usually recommend 4 or 5 nights of this to help break the cycle. Of course if symptoms persist seek further medical advice as medication may be an option. I know I broke a lot of rules with regards to Night Terrors, I moved my child, I sat her on a bench, I tried to wake her- at least next time I’ll know to make her room safe and let her be. I don’t think I’d be able to make myself leave the room, I’d want to be there for her, the comfort and reassurance of seeing her back in sleep-ful bliss would be what I needed to lull myself to sleep- conscious knowledge that she is OK. As we speak my little Night Terror victim has woken up, not a care in the world, completely oblivious to the horrors of last night- ready to face another day. She is looking forward to the chocolate cake she is getting this afternoon for her Foz’s birthday! Until Next Time, Soul Mum xo * Sources: www.chw.edu.au www.nightterrors.org
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